Smells

I feel like a dog in a new place with way too many new smells. I have so much I want to get done, that I am all over the place, leaving bits & pieces of the previous task in evidence that i actually did it, but probably not a very good job!

Cari, I will have a view on Jurassic Park for you. I actually have a theory, but I need to watch it first. And I do realize that Charlie & the Chocolate Factory was a stretch (Jason :) but that's what makes it fun! Why, did you have a different take on it? Does anybody else have a movie they would like analyzed?

So, as I go through my smelly to-do list, I am trying to also learn how to balance our new schedule. I didn't realize how much the absence of FedEx would impact me. We'll see how it works out!

And after thought, how would you suggest potty- training a boy who takes off his diaper after he goes... he sits on the potty, but never does anything, but he clearly doesn't like to have his diaper wet. Maybe I should dedicate a day to a boy & his potty!

I Am Sisyphus

K - this is the king (?) in Greek mythology that has been cursed through all eternity to push a huge boulder up a big hill, over & over & over & over & over.... Anyway, this is what I have felt like lately. Why bother picking up toys, really, if in 10min they will all be returned to the floor? And cleaning the kitchen... really? it will promptly be returned to it's state of disastrousness.

So, the kids got bored in the 10min car ride this afternoon and began playing with my CVS shopping bag... Tristin sat this way, talking and moving around slightly, for a good 2-3min. I was trying to drive straight while laughing!

Be the Yarn

So, I have been enjoying writing for my little webpage. I am still a little stumped on the whole "promoting" yourself thing, but I'm doing OK. The only thing I don't like about it, is it's supposed to be a straightforward article, with no "bloggyness." Oh well, I guess that's why I have a blog!

Lately I have felt like a ball of yarn. No. A wad of yarn. Usually I feel like a ball of yarn, all neatly wrapped up, with a clear method of using, a nice bundle. I, however, am feeling like the wad. All jumbled with knots and unsure of really how to go about getting back into the nice round, functional form.

I know that when I think about how I am feeling, I have no real excuse or reason to feel scared, tired, irritable, confused, and lashing out at my children, husband, or the woman in the car in front of me who does not know that despite we are at a red light, if there is no traffic coming, she can fact TURN RIGHT!!!

I know there is no excuse for that. But I feel it. I have never been one to say my Aunt Flow is on town, I'm tired, I'm hungry... so that's why I am acting like a 3 year old. We have a conscious decision to make with every action or reaction, with only ourselves to blame if we choose the wrong one. ("good pep talk, cristi!" "thanks.")
So, my apologies if I have forgotten that I was supposed to write, call, send a wire, etc. Or if I have thrown a fit at your feet!

CSI: Barbie

I Feel Old

So, I feel old. Not news, but I wanted to share.

I also wanted to share that I think my husband is being stalked by a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses. Today was the second time they have come by, asking for him, by name! I think his original intent was to try to talk with them when they had more time. I have noticed, however, they do not try to sell me on anything... isn't my eternal soul worth a darn?! Maybe if Zach gets saved, then the rest of family does too? Oh well, we're all stocked up on God over here!

FYI

Not that you have been waiting on the edge of your seats, but my bathrooms are clean. All of my laundry is done, and mostly folded. This does not include Zach's work clothes. Today the big challenge will be to get all of the floors clean. I will need to first make sure they are clear of things like bracelets, stacking toys, barbie shoes & clothes, sippys, dress up clothes, and other miscellaneous things. I must them sweep them, and then mop them. I am tired already just thinking about it. Maybe I should make some coffee to cope... Of course, I still have to get to the grocery at some point... that vinegar ain't gonna buy itself!

Good for 1 Year

Well, I got my recert in CPR from the American Red Cross... I'll keep my opinions to myself. I'll have to do it all over again next year, along with the lifeguarding segment. They will have restructured it all by then anyway. What a mess. So, with that out of the way, now I can focus on my EMT recert. I am a bit stressed since I have just over half of the hours I need.

My house is a complete disaster. I feel very overwhelmed.

We have another babysitting opportunity. For a little girl one weekend a month. I don't want to give any more details than that just yet. Please help us pray to find out if this is something we should do.

Maybe the next time we meet, my bathrooms will be clean.

Don't hold your breath!

Sum Up

Before you begin to worry that I finally got my act together and that is why I have been copping out and using "Maura On..." posts, never fear! I am still as messed up and disfunctional as ever! Just busy. And tired.

We had a wonderful birthday party for Zach on Saturday. It was nice to see so many people, and have Zach truly enjoy himself. He needed some good times. Tristin fell on his face at the party and looks like he's been a bar fight. Maura repeatedly dipped cheese puffs into the chocolate fountain... eww. Both of the kids ate pretty much the whole time, and loved every minute of it.

Tristin went searching for food the other day and found a bag with stale buns from the party... he snacked on those for a while before deciding they would look better on the floor of the living room. Just in time for ant season! All right!

He also has been using his big toes to rub hie eyes. Never mind the dirt and possible infections that could come of this - what about it being so weird?!

Maura is currently running around in her underwear. I really don't care. She's happy.

I have been trying to help Zach with his school and at the same time, get all of the hours I need for my EMT re-cert. Although, I did discover that my lifeguarding isn't up until next year! Sweet! I may still have to take Red Cross CPR, but I intend to make a stink out of this and hopefully get out of it. Wish me luck on my phone calls!

Peace

I love spouting "hippie" type phrases at Zach. Some of the most quoted are as follows: "Make love, not war!" "Stop the violence, we all want to live!" "Go home plastic foam!" And my personal favorite - "Arms are for hugging." If you know us at all, you will appreciate that last phrase especially. Anyway, I don't see myself as a hippie, in the way you think of arm pit hair, bra burning, unshaven legs, and making your own granola. OK, I do make my own granola and it is quite good. I eat it almost every morning for breakfast.

So, in the same spirit, I have decided to toy with some other homemade items. And no, it's not of the plant, "medicinal" variety. I ran out of my scrubbing bubbles to clean the bathrooms. A pretty needy room as far as cleaning goes. I searched around online and found a few different homemade cleaners that I thought would be fun to try. I ended up with one consisting of rubbing alcohol, vinegar, dawn and boiling water. I really like it. It does a great job all over, even the mirror.

After this score for my team, I tried out a face scrub.

I love it! It's a secret recipe, though. Hee, hee. Just kidding, Heidi! It basically consists of honey, lemon juice, and sugar. It smells great and feels wonderful. It can be a bit harsh, but only if you grind it into your face...

Anyway, I thought I'd share with you what fun I am having with making things I never considered making before!

Deep Thoughts

I have deep thoughts. A lot. I am also very much a keep to myself-er, so I rarely share the things that I think. That being said, I had a thought today and I felt like sharing it, so lucky you! And I'm sure this won't seem nearly as deep once I write it!

Isaiah 55:8 says, "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Neither are your ways May ways,' declares the Lord."

So, I got the kids a snack and set about cleaning up the kitchen. I was watching Tristin pour out his Jumbo Rice Krispies (fabulous cereal by the way - although not entirely worth the average $4 price tag) all over the table and sat amongst the pile gleefully, as one might with a large pile of loot from a hefty bank heist.

Anyway, as I was watching him, I was reminded of how God probably looks at us, as little children- helpless, precious.

As I watched, he was very systematically, deliberately placing the krispies between his toes. I do not know why he was doing this. I try not to ponder too long on why he does most of what he does. He's an interesting child.

Getting back to my deep thought - how silly it seemed to me that he was putting cereal between his toes. But I'm sure he had his reasons. Just like it must seem silly to God the things we do. We think to ourselves - this is a good idea! I'll get to Heaven this way! But it doesn't work.

We as well be sticking Jumbo Rice Krispies between our toes.

Snow

I cannot imagine the hate mail I will get from this, but I pose the question anyway...

Why can't we get tremendous snow & winter weather like the east coast gets every year??? I love it and our one little snow storm was NOT enough to hold me over till next year, when I'm sure we'll get even less!

Cheese Sandwiches

I am very happy to allow Gretchen to get on her soap box and voice all kinds of wonderful opinions, but I just couldn't sit this one out. Admittedly, I did not read the entire article and I did absolutely no research whatsoever. That being disclosed...

There are school districts that are serving a cold cheese sandwich, a fruit and milk carton to those children who have delinquent lunch accounts. If they qualify for a free lunch, they are not affected. One child doesn't wan to go back to school, another wants to get sick when she eats it... I'm sorry, but let's man up and deal with it!

I understand that it may embarrassing for the child (welcome to school!) and they are young, so may not totally understand the situation, but please. Mom and dad failed to teach gratitude, first of all. Then to not pay what they owe... And why can't they just pack a lunch? Certainly not cheaper than free, but way better.

I know I am falling drastically short on my argument, and given time, I may actually try harder to explain my complete lack of sympathy, but I needed that off of my chest. I think we, as a society, have such a jaded perspective & major entitled issues, and all we do is pass that along to our children. What would have happened a hundred years ago in a one- room schoolhouse? The child would probably gone home, or just hungry. Of course, they also would be getting a much better education....

I promise to try and let Gretchen handle the soap boxes!

Special

I have been getting e-mails from President Obama!!! I am so excited! Maybe I can get a job! I feel so special!

Good To Be Home

So, I enjoyed a wonderful weekend with my husband. The only complaint I really have, is that it was too short. Although I was ready to get back to my kids. Anyway, we visited a couple of little ticked away wineries and that was fun, plus picked up some new shoes.

However, the main focus was food! I was pretty good with my diet for the couple of weeks proceeding our getaway, and it totally paid off! While we didn't gorge ourselves (at least the entire time!), I just enjoyed my husband, and my time, and ate like I was in high school. It was great! Of course I'm not at all hungry now, so it makes me happy that I don't want to continue eating like a heavyweight!

So, we're home, and about the second we walk in, it's life as usual. Whining, crying, messes... and don't even get me started on the kids! :) They did well without mommy & daddy, although Trisint looks kind of like an extra from Fight Club....

We got the little ones to bed, trying to get things back in order, general busyness. Maura starts calling from her room, which is very normal. I ask what she wants, she says she pooped. I tell her to hang on, she says OK, I ask Zach to take care of it...

Zach opens the door, and I hear, "Maura Corum! Go get in the tub right now! Dear, please get the camera." First of all, I don't know what in the world could possibly warrant the need of a camera when it comes to cleaning poop, and I know for a fact that if Zach wants the camera, it can't be good. All of this knowledge in my head, and I know I cannot get up and look.

Zach comes & gets the camera, stifling a laugh - which is not good. He then tells me that he'll need help. Oh no.

I get up after he gets finished commemorating this event, and see my daughter. She was in a nightgown. I saw the nightgown. That's really all I saw, since the rest of her had a fairly thick coating of poo. Thankfully, though, not the face.

Anyway, I ask Zach to start her washing up while I begin the room disinfecting. I tell her that after she is all cleaned up, she will have to help clean up the mess in the room. It is all over the closet door, and the room door. That is so gross.

So, after a bath of sorts, she comes in her room, ready to go to bed, and I tell her that she needs to help clean up. Unfortunately, she got poop all over her closet door, and since that's where her pull- ups are, she has to clean the door before she can get pjs on! What a mean mommy! So, my little girl is buck naked, shivering, cleaning up the door with daddy helping - softie!

So, the mess gets cleaned up. I'm exhausted. Now I'm doing laundry. Oh, and the radiator blew on my car this morning.

Better

Well, lately my personal battle cry has been, "If it is to be, it is up to me!" After the disastrous week I had last week, I am ready for things to go a bit more smoothly. Of course, life gets in the way of that sometimes.

I have successfully transitioned the office into Tristin's bedroom. My next goal is to get some curtains up for him, since he's using one from the living room. We are also in need of a twin mattress for his bed, so if you or someone you know is getting rid of one, please send them my way!

I have also FINALLY installed a new doorknob to our garage door. This of you that had to use the top lock for SO long, rejoice! Funny thing, Zach came home last night, through that very door, and didn't notice. I laughed and pointed out that he wasn't too observant. He went back to the door, opened the door and looked in the garage, looked me over and could not figure out what was different! I finally had to tell him. It was funny. To me at least.

But I'll give him a break. He put in his notice at his day job this week. Two weeks from today, he won't work there anymore. That's a lie. He'll technically still be employed, so when the boss takes a vacation, Zach will be able to go in & run the office for some extra money. This is nice that it all seems to be working out, but at the moment, he's balancing 3 jobs. I don't know how he does it.

Anyway, I have to go change a light bulb on our front porch. I also have tons of other things that need doing. I'd rather lay on the couch and watch movies all day.

Good Company

Elizabeth, you are in good company... Nothing is easy... Well, I guess that's an over statement, but you get my point. Let me back up a bit:

This week has been TERRIBLE as far as Zach's hours, and neither of us getting much sleep. My washer has been broken for over a week, and both of the children had/ have diarrhea. I have had to dip into clothes the next size up, and I'm not sure I have any more pants for Maura to wear. I know I have no more onesies for Tristin, or long- sleeved shirts.

My kitchen sink smells bad... like the gas after broccoli... follow?

Zach came home today and needed desperately to sleep for a few hours. I desperately needed to get to the store, and didn't want to take the little ones. The washer part FINALLY came.

Zach fixed the washer. Hallelujah! A short victory...
I almost broke down into tears when I realized I would have to take both of the little people with me. I am so tired. I decided to throw in a load of much overdue laundry before I left. I called in back- up (my mom) to see if I could get some help with shopping. No go. I'm crying of relief when my mom offers to go with me in the morning.

I'm going to be OK. Zach is ready to head back for a nap, and I only have a few hours till bedtime - for the kids. I hear Zach shout from the kitchen...

There is... wait for it... water ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR! So much so, that his brother has to bring over a shop vac to clean it up! Zach had forgotten to re-attach the water to the washer, so when I started the load... get it?

So, 5pm and I'm wading through my kitchen trying to get some sort of dinner together for the kids.

I suppose I could have killed two birds with one stone & just wiped up all the water with the mounds of dirty clothes...

Good Help is Hard to Find

When I was little, and we had family dinners with my grandparents, and when the meal was finished, I remember my grandmother asking where Emma was at. Being young, I didn't realize that they were making a joke about the fictional maid who was behind in her duties to clear the table & clean up dinner. A vague way to complain about the work to be done. In fact, that question is still uttered at random gatherings.

I have done a lot of thinking about it, and have decided that I will have my own Emma. It makes me feel better to blame my messes on this figment of my imagination, than to admit I have indeed, done this myself.

On days that it looks as though we live in a frat- house, I will wonder, "Where has that Emma gotten to?" And I will take care of the mess that has been forgotten by my absent- minded employee.

Letters From a Recluse

Well, as usual I should be doing something way more productive than writing this. Oh well. I haven't left the house since church on Sunday, aside from getting the mail. I don't mind staying home, but I am beginning to feel the need to go out. I am planning on going out tomorrow afternoon with my mom, so I am very much looking forward to that.

I am trying to keep the place clean, and gets frustrating that it never really stays that way for more than the night. My mother- in- law got Tristin these little blue police figures (like the small army men) for Christmas. They are scattered all over the house - even when it is picked up, you can pick just about any square foot to look at and find at least one figure - it looks like the night Chicago died in my living room.

I have been able to work out. Not that I have taken full advantage of it, but I have been able.

So, here's to another week at home, with the little people who are allegedly my children, plus one, and finding any way I can to avoid working out & cleaning. What fun!

An Angry Day to Dance

Don't ask me what the title means. I do not know. Maura was drinking her OJ and said, "Whew! It was an angry day to dance!" I don't know what goes on inside her head, or where she gets the things she says, but it is amusing. Anyway, I thought I'd share some things from the Dictionary of Maura. This is not an exhausted list. Please bear in mind that some of these have been corrected, but we replace them with new!

Cousin: husband
Vitamin: beepin
Cream of Wheat: cream of wheap
Spaghetti: spetti
Goggles: gobbles
Deviled Eggs: doubled eggs
Grandpa: crapaw
Hot Pads: hot pans

So We've Been Busy...

Well, it's never dull. I am so tired that I think my eyes are going crossed. Oh well. I have been trying to prepare for Christmas Eve & Christmas Day. We are having his family over after the Christmas Eve service, and then my family is coming over Christmas morning. I am feeding his family dinner & my family breakfast.

This is something that I really enjoy doing, but I feel like I have to plan WAY ahead of time. If you've ever had the unfortunate experience of grocery (Zach says I'm old because I use the word "grocery") shopping with me, then you know what I mean. I have to have my list just so - I have it arranged so that the all of the items are grouped in the list as they are in the store, then those groups are arranged in the order that I approach them through out the store. Don't get me started on the way the cart is actually loaded with the aforementioned items.

So there's that. Then on Thursday I heard this wonderfully piercing scream followed my legitimate crying - from Maura. That was odd. I went to see what had happened... long story short, she dropped a computer keyboard, that she plays with, onto her big toe. I told her it was fine and asked to look at it. There was blood everywhere. It was pretty gross. After I put on a band- aid, I got the mess cleaned up, only to turn around and see that I need to change the soaked band- aid already. This time I went with double gauze. That was much better. Anyway, it looks disgusting - the bottom cuticle/ skin is totally disconnected from the toe, and you can see the bottom part of the nail. EWW!

Then I was very busy pulling things from Tristin's mouth, once again. Dog hair, various food crumbs mixed with dirt, dog food, toilet paper. Have you seen the movie Elf? You know the scene where he eats the cotton balls? Tristin had gotten some toilet paper, and was carrying it around as if it were a snack, taking little bites of it! I got it away from him, only to see that he still had a small bit in his hand. I told him no, he looked at me and with a little grin, shoved it in his mouth & ate it! This was sometime last week. He did again today.